Anxiety during this pregnancy…
Anxiety has been an issue with this pregnancy for me. Before each doctor appointment, my anxiety gets higher. I am always afraid something will be wrong, even though she has always been fine. This doesn’t matter…each time I lay down for an ultrasound, they put the jelly on my belly, and I have a moment of panic before I see her on the ultrasound screen. I always look for her heart immediately to make sure it is till pumping and she is still thriving. I never thought I would have this type of experience with a pregnancy. I always thought it would be an extremely joyous experience. I never thought the joy could turn into anxiety/worry. I feel like I have not fully let myself be happy or joyous about being pregnant, the fear of something happening always seems to take over. We are at the half-way mark, so some of that anxiety has calmed down. I still have the same level of anxiety going into appointments, but between appointments it has gotten better. Don’t get me wrong, I am super excited to be pregnant and I love being pregnant. I definitely have my joyous moments and I love every moment I get to carry Olivia in my belly! This is just to give a better understanding of how anxiety and pregnancy go together for me with having fertility issues. We now have this global pandemic that makes anxiety worse going into appointments (I will discuss more in another post).
Being high risk has its perks and its downsides. The perk is we get to see little miss a lot more than most pregnant women get to see their baby while pregnant. We get more detailed ultrasounds and they check a lot more at a high-risk doctor than they would at a normal visit. The downside is there are restrictions. I can’t lift over 20 lbs, I can’t run, I can’t overdo it, and I make sure I do not bounce or do any motion that could cause an issue. This sometimes stinks since I really enjoy exercising, but I can still walk and exercise….I just have to take it easy/limit what I do. I try to at least walk once a day, but most days I exercise twice a day (mainly walking but I do other exercises too).